How To Move On After A Toxic Relationship

A toxic relationship will leave a lasting impact on one’s emotional and mental well-being. It can be really hard to fully let go of the memories and emotions that come with it, but it’s important to move on and heal from the experience.

Moving on after a toxic relationship requires a conscious effort to overcome the emotional baggage that comes with it, that includes; feelings of hurt, anger, and betrayal. It also involves self-reflection and making healthy choices that put your well-being first.

While it may not be easy, letting go of a toxic relationship will lead to a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life. In this article, we will explore some essential tips to help you move on after a toxic relationship.

Table of Content

1. Realize That You Deserve Healthy Love

Realize That You Deserve Healthy Love

One of the contributing elements that makes it difficult to walk away from unhealthy relationships is the belief that we can change the unchangeable and transform the toxic “love” into a nice relationship. Thinking this is one of the contributing causes that makes it difficult to walk away from unhealthy relationships.

When we don’t believe we deserve a spouse who is caring, thoughtful, and attentive, we often find ourselves in relationships with others who don’t think we deserve such a match too. This can lead to resentment and dissatisfaction in the relationship.

Do you believe that you do not deserve healthy love because of your appearance, your age, your occupation, or any of the other apparent defects that you have manifested? If so, what makes you come to this conclusion?

Beginning loving yourself in spite of all of your flaws is the first step to becoming truly happy.

Someone who is lucky enough to be in a relationship with you ought to acknowledge how fortunate they are.

The more strongly you believe that you are deserving of a wonderful love relationship, the more strongly you will identify with the warning signs or red flags, and the more successfully you will attract a healthy partner who shares your values.

Position yourself in a setting where you are surrounded by people who have positive, healthy relationships with the people in their lives, such as their friends and family.

This will act as a helpful reminder to you that there is such a thing as good love in the world, and it will enable you to raise the bar for what you are ready to endure in a romantic partnership as a result.

Your love partnership should not be a source of tension or drama; if you’re searching for some thrills in your life, you should look elsewhere.

When there is drama in a relationship, it almost always results in conflict, instability, and unpredictable behavior—none of which are conducive to happiness or fulfillment. Drama in a relationship almost always results in conflict, instability, and erratic conduct.

Being compelled to reduce your standards of decency and respect for yourself is substantially worse than spending time on your own. If you are afraid of being by yourself, you may be ready to put up with conduct from your partner that would never be regarded acceptable by a friend or coworker. Spending time alone is perfect for introspection, developing one’s professional goals, or connecting with individuals who hold one in high esteem. Most of the time, the most difficult challenge is overcoming the fear of being alone.

You identify with the familiarity of this unpleasant conduct, and as a result, you give in to the thought that it is the usual and accept it as such. It is imperative that you understand that you are not the sum total of your history, nor are you the sum total of how others may have treated you in the past. It is important to create clear and healthy limits regarding the degree of compassion, kindness, and respect you deserve

Tell yourself that you are making progress toward a better and brighter future, away from this tendency to hurt yourself, and forward in time. If you are in a relationship that is damaging to your self-esteem and is no longer benefiting you, you should not be afraid to terminate it because it is no longer in your best interests. If you are in such a relationship, you should tell yourself that you are moving away from this tendency to damage yourself.

MUST READ:16 Major Signs Of A Toxic Girlfriend

2. Accept That The Relationship Was Toxic

It’s easy to put rose-colored glasses on old relationships, whether they were unhealthy or not, and gloss over the myriad of reasons why the connection had to be severed.

Only by fully acknowledging and comprehending everything that was wrong with the relationship will we be able to find true solace in the fact that it is no longer in our lives.

Ending any relationship, regardless of whether or not it was unhealthy, triggers a grief response that is analogous to that of a bereavement.

It is necessary for the person to go through the stages of coming to terms with the fact that the relationship was unhealthy and that getting out was the best choice.

When something like this occurs to a person, it is certain that they will experience a range of negative feelings, including hurt, anger, loss, and despair.

Adjustments need to be made to the person’s environment, their bodies, and their minds in order for them to be able to cope in a healthy manner.

People are left with debris after being in an unhealthy relationship, but after these adjustments have taken place, it is much simpler to cope with the aftermath.

3. Remember Who You Are

Remember Who You Are

You were a person before you got involved in a toxic relationship, but it’s frequently difficult to recall who you were before the toxic relationship started eroding your sense of self-worth little by little.

Remembering your ideals and coming to terms with the fact that you do deserve a healthy connection is essential to the healing process.

Those who are involved in unhealthy relationships frequently begin to lose themselves, forget about themselves, and frequently no longer place an emphasis on their own happiness.

When someone has put so much time and energy into a relationship, it can be difficult to acknowledge the reality of this situation.

It takes a certain degree of self-awareness and candor to recognize and acknowledge when a romantic partnership has run its course, particularly because it can be challenging to imagine one’s life without one’s spouse.

It is practically necessary to cleanse yourself of the thoughts and ideals that you and your partner developed together and to remind yourself of the significance of the self.

Self-compassion is essential if you want to ensure that you will be able to go through the emotional fallout of ending this kind of relationship.

During this process, individuals will become more familiar with themselves and their worth, as well as the realization that what they had previously was not good for their overall welfare.

4. Take Practical Steps To Help You Cope

Take Practical Steps To Help You Cope

When there are intense feelings at play, the decisions you make one day may not matter as much the next day.

It’s possible to walk away from your significant other, only to change your mind and decide to give them another opportunity a few hours later.

Because of this, it’s important to take actionable steps to prevent your feelings from getting the best of you.

Recording how you are feeling on a day-to-day basis will provide you with concrete evidence of how your relationship affects you emotionally.

We frequently get our feelings and the facts mixed up; we have a tendency to make excuses for those we care about, yet he had been working so hard that day, so it’s possible that’s why he drank too much and became aggressive.

Having it written down provides irrefutable documentation of how you felt, what was said, and what your partner did to harm you and other things along those lines.

Evidence, evidence, evidence.

Continue doing this for at least a week or two, and then, at the conclusion of that period, take an honest look at how your ideas, behaviors, and feelings have changed throughout that time.

Is this person grateful to have you in their life?

Does he or she merit you being there?

Do you feel that you are treated with the respect that you deserve from this person?

It is not easy to come to terms with the final decision to go, but you must put your own needs first and be truthful with yourself.

Once you have made the decision to terminate it, select a secure location to deliver the news to your partner.

Choose a setting in which it would be embarrassing for your spouse to behave in an out-of-control manner, as toxic relationships frequently involve high levels of emotional and physical intensity.

5. Don’t Wait For An Apology Or Closure

Don’t Wait For An Apology Or Closure

One of the most excruciating aspects of exiting a toxic relationship is the inability to achieve closure; however, the person who was the source of so much of your suffering is unlikely to sincerely apologize or acknowledge that they did anything wrong.

While leaving a toxic relationship, many people are hoping for closure or an apology for the grief or heartache that the relationship caused.

The apology virtually never arrives, and as a result, people wind up feeling more worse about the situation than they did prior to the beginning of the dialogue.

No matter how much we may wish to exert control over others, we are only able to exert control over ourselves.

Only we have authority over ourselves and our own individual aspirations for development and progress.

Know that the person you want to change needs to make changes to their behavior, and that only they can make the decision to make any changes in their lives. This is true regardless of how much we want the person to change.

It is painful for us to witness someone engaging in self-destructive behavior, but those individuals must realize that the actions they are taking are not productive and that they must seek out other options.

We could sit here and do nothing, but there’s a chance that moment will never arrive.

At this point, the idea that we are responsible for locating the resolution within ourselves becomes relevant.

It is imperative that we are aware that the manner in which we were treated was not warranted, and that the most beneficial thing we can do for ourselves is to let go of the past and accept, deep down, that we are deserving of something more.

SEE ALSO: Building A Healthy Relationship? Here’s Tips To Help

6. Embrace Forgiveness

Embrace Forgiveness

When we’ve spent weeks, months, or even years with someone who brings our sense of self-worth down, and when we’ve finally taken the courageous decision of leaving the relationship, forgiving that person might feel like an impossible feat.

The act of forgiving others is a strong one that has the potential to provide us strength when we are going through challenging circumstances.

A good number of us are under the impression that we have to let our hurt and anger subside before we can forgive another person.

Having said that, this is not always the case.

The act of forgiving someone else is one that must be done thoughtfully and deliberately.

Your life will regain its vigor, possibility, and purity as a result of the decision you make today.

You need to come to terms with the fact that your feelings of resentment are directly proportional to the amount of control over your life that you have relinquished.

In the end, to forgive someone means to release them from whatever obligation that you believe they have to you.

It is an admission of defeat and a letting go of the hurt that has been shared between the two of you.

Acceptance is the medicine that can cure feelings of resentment.

When it comes to bringing more love into our lives, we are prepared, like samurai warriors, to clear our hearts of anything and everything that does not represent love.

Worse, if we are unable to find the strength to forgive those who have wronged us, the grief we experienced in the past may end up harming the connections we have now and will have in the future.

Anything you have not healed from in your past will manifest itself in the relationships you have today and the life you are living right now.

No matter how many times you switch up the characters or the setting, the plot will never change until you are able to let go of your grudges.

In the absence of forgiveness, memories of the past can surface at any time, and you will find yourself repeating the same mistakes.

On the other hand, forgiveness can alter both your history and your present by assisting you in assigning a new meaning to those times.

You should not make it the goal of your life to nurse a grudge against anyone.

7. Fill The Void And Surround Yourself With Positivity

Fill The Void And Surround Yourself With Positivity

It may sound like a joke, but encircling oneself with positive people may have a significant impact on your perspective in many different ways.

It is necessary to fill your life with activities that are soul enriching and alternate sources of satisfaction before moving forward with your life.

You may finish your life by putting your attention on the things that provide you joy, such as your family, friends, occupation, and hobbies.

At this point in your life, you should concentrate on your accomplishments and enthusiastically welcome the new path that your life is going to take.

During this time of recovery, loving and caring for oneself should be a top focus.

Put yourself in the company of people who will bring light and positivity into your life. Surround yourself with them.

Individuals who are there for you, care about you, and inspire you to do what is best for you.

Keep yourself occupied with people in whom you have complete confidence and with whom you can share anything.

If you are going through a lot of frustration, despair, bewilderment, and rage, then this could be a healthy outlet for you to express those feelings.

8. Remember It Won’t Always Be Easy

Remember It Won't Always Be Easy

You should get ready for the difficulties that leaving an unhealthy relationship would bring before you do so, just as it is tough to leave an unhealthy relationship, it is difficult to survive once you are in a new environment when you are single.

You will have to relearn how to find joy in life, just as you did when you were in the unhealthy relationship and had to learn how to survive it.

Try to find pleasure and contentment in the everyday activities that you do.

Ask yourself what three things made you happy throughout the day before you go to sleep each night. It could be as simple as going for a walk in the park or having coffee with a buddy.

Increase your efforts in these areas.

When you’re involved in a relationship that’s unhealthy for you, it’s possible that your personality may become stifled to the point where you won’t be able to express yourself, grow, or develop.

When you come back out into the big wide world after being away for a while, it might feel very overwhelming, to the point that you might not even recognize yourself anymore.

You might have begun hiding who you really are in order to stay alive, and you might not even be aware of the mask you’ve been wearing all this time.

You shouldn’t feel obligated to rush into anything; take things at the speed that seems most comfortable for you.

Be nice to yourself, but don’t let the things that have happened to you turn you into a victim.

Instead, focus on what you discovered about yourself via the experience, but make an effort to do it from an objective vantage point where you are able to remove your feelings from the situation.

Ask yourself, “What could possibly be good that could come out of this?”

You may have become a kinder and more compassionate person as a result of it, or perhaps you have become a tougher cookie who is now a lot surer of herself.

Your sense of self-worth has probably taken a beating, and you will likely be vulnerable until you begin to regain your strength; therefore, you should surround yourself with individuals who you can trust.

There will be a large number of nice days, but there will also be some unpleasant days, and that’s okay.

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